There is no 'ctrl' button on pressy's computer. pressy is always in control.
Apple pays pressy 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
pressy can sneeze with his eyes open.
pressy can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
pressy is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
pressy destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
pressy can kill two stones with one bird
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for pressy
pressy doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with pressy
pressy is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When pressy does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
pressy doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
pressy does not get frostbite. pressy bites frost
pressy has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep pressy out. It failed misserably
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by pressy, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and pressy
smacked him across the face several times